Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
