My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
