i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
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