there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
