it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
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