FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
