I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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