Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
