Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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