dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
