dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
