the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize