am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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