So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
