Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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