i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
