I feel great
I just peed on a car
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
The convent might be a nice break from real life
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
