I got chris browned last night
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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