I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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