You're my little dorito
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
