he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
