I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
