You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
