Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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