I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
whose ass print is on the piano?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
They took my balls.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
