I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Randomize
