So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
