she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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