i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
