We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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