i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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