no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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