Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
