WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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