Who wears a wallet chain?!
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I think my moral compass just broke
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
