Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
My cat gives me a boner
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
