You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
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