i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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