i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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