So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
