that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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