On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
