okay pat passed out under dana's car
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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