Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
