IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
