Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
