I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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