I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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