Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
