How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
